I thought I was straight for the first 28 years of my life. I always felt like I was *more* than an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Even though I grew up Catholic and later became a non-denominational Christian, I felt a strong connection to the queer community but I could never put my finger on why I felt that way until we left the Church and my husband Chris came out to me as bisexual (later identified as pansexual). This conversation with him inspired me to explore my own sexuality and the term “pansexual” really resonated with me. I realized that it has never mattered to me what gender someone is, based on their genitals or how they identify. The only thing that mattered to me was their heart and spirit. Proclaiming my newfound sexuality as Pansexual was one of the most freeing moments of my life.
It’s difficult to be visible to the general public as a pansexual/bisexual cis-woman when you are married to a cis-man because our relationship looks like a heterosexual partnership. So I do my best to be authentic and open about my sexuality in conversation, in my wardrobe, with PDA with my g/f, and on social media (Instagram mostly). Being able to openly and affectionately explore my newfound sexuality has led me to falling in Love with my amazing girlfriend Danielle. I’m not very shy, outside of my workplace, in talking about my her or about dating women while being married to my husband whom I love dearly. Having a husband who also identifies as pansexual is also validating because we can relate to each other on that level.
Sexuality is fluid and it’s comforting to me that it’s O.K. to have identified differently as a teenager, as a young adult, and now in my early 30s. With this new understanding of myself, I feel more comfortable in my skin then ever before. I didn’t have any bi/pan role models growing up, so visibility is important for me. I hope to be a positive role model to people of all ages as someone who is happy and free, being the person I was always meant to be, Loving those I am free to Love.
With Love & Pixie Dust,
Santa Ana, CA